Bluffing Does Not Work For Me
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Through experiences in Texas Hold ’Em Poker with Friends, at Casinos, and then applying the principles to Life…
Define Bluffing
Thank you M-W.com for the following:
bluffed; bluffing; bluffs
1 a: to deter or frighten by pretense or a mere show of strength
— bluffed them into surrendering
b: DECEIVE
— bluff her way in without a ticket
c: FEIGN
— The catcher bluffed a throw to first.
2 card games : to deceive (an opponent) by a bold bet on an inferior hand
— The player was bluffed out of a winning hand
Other versions of the “concept” of bluffing include slang such as:
- Poser
- Paper Tiger
- All Bark, No Bite
- Bitch Made
…and the classic…
- Faking the Funk
None of these avenues of conduct work for me. I have tried them mostly in Poker and because of my aversion to little lies (a habit is a habit small or big some are positive some are negative) I spectate them in Real Life. During many years I played Texas Hold ’Em Poker with some close friends. I did try playing at a Casino once or twice…
Superstition and Luck are akin to Drama and Comedy
We can drive ourselves crazy with fear, and frankly, it seems to be the number one method of conducting business in the United States lately. Ask your Doctor! You may be at risk! Get this digital watchdog to watch your dog watch the dog channel while you are in your kennel at the Office — sorry, I mean cubicle.
Gambling is not for me — why? Too lucky in Life. I ain’t gonna waste it on money or pride playing cards. Those are the real stakes for most people, like Sting sang, they deal the cards to find the answers. Games like Poker, against other people instead of the House itself as your Opponent, I do not like those games overall. Life, to me, has been competitive enough.
I save my energy.
About Poker and Bluffing — Time Tells Tells
With the group of close friends, as an estimate I probably played about 30 games over the years with them in various places. It was a genuine effort and enjoyable overall — stakes, trash talk, but also the good hearted fun of watching long-shot bets pay off. We knew each other personally, then we got to know each other as card players.
Me? I can’t really switch into card player mode because I don’t care about winning comparatively to the rest of the table. On the scale I would be at the bottom or tied, easily, regarding motivation. For me sitting around laughing and the experience justified playing for a while, and if I lost out then I didn’t have to play anymore!
Knowing me personally, at the card table I can look back and realize how clearly I have a methodology — it’s predictable in what it is going for, yet unpredictable in what the basis of the confidence might be:
Either on the Flop I see a significant advantage to the hand I have or could get very quickly depending on the money stakes, or if there’s a “feeling” about the hand I might try and stay in.
Why? Both ways I’m confident enough to put my money in for the hand, but they don’t know if I have it or if I’m counting on luck to get it — when I’m in a hand, those are basically the two scenarios.
Bluffing doesn’t work for me.
Apply to Life
Honestly, anybody who spends time in Poverty understands the urge to be above the situation and conditions in life and kind of present ourselves that way. Remember “Faking the Funk” mentioned earlier? There’s the other one in the family:
- Hey, fake it until you make it!
Another one is related too:
- Dress for the job you want, not the job you have!
These optimistic versions of deception are useful to help break out of a rut, a pattern or situation. Aspiration is healthy. How a Human goes about trying to fulfill that urge can be highly erratic — culture, nature — so many factors intermingle in this reality of constant change yet wanting to have stability. Oh, and thanks to the Baby Boomers we got this shining example of their wisdom at work:
Now, I’ve learned how to convey I am not bluffing in Life. One of the most recent developments is putting a muzzle on my Casandra Complex for the sake of Justice. Yeah, I hate seeing people suffer, which is why I try to be my genuine self and be fair in my dealings with other Humans.
I respect Myself so I respect You the Other Person and desire we meet somewhere in that neighborhood because then we can navigate Adult Life with less friction and maybe some constructiveness!
Now though, my duty is to continue with my commitment and follow through the course of action set in motion not by me, but certainly so deeply traumatic and hurtful that stopping this Person from inflicting it on yet another victim takes the Mic.
People who are bluffing tend to make you think their outcome is a given. This way you don’t question whether or not they really have the ingredients in hand. So, whether they can pull it off is still a question, but usually in a proper bluff, the answer is No. No they can not make it happen on their own…so the deceit kicks in to make ya think they can.
My strategy is much more based on the Suspense Master himself Alfred Hitchcock. If two people are eating at a table and there’s a bomb on a timer under it they don’t know about, once the bomb goes off the scene is over. However if the audience knows it’s there and it should go off then their own anticipation makes the scene something different altogether…emotional!
The #1 rule of great Writing also applies to Life:
Show, Don’t Tell
